It might seem impractical to say something like this, but it actually has good potential to be quite practical. For example, we will be able to focus almost exclusively on business as usual once we show why climate change can't be true. It's what we all really want; to know the reasons why it can't be right, and how we can continue living our lives exactly the way we were before. So, this article is meant to empower those individuals who were searching for that loophole. It's not really a way out. It's just affirmation of what we knew, deep down, was correct.
Tip #1: Realize the scientists are probably wrong.
But don't 97% of scientists agree it's a problem? Sure. But did you know we don't have reliable temperature records from before the thermometer was invented? How can scientists honestly tell us how historic climates were when Rome didn't even keep temperature records? We've only got about a century of very reliable records, never mind that the global average temp keeps going up! The climate fluctuates all the time anyways, which you well know if you ever tried to plan a camping trip.
Tip #2: It's their fault for building there in the first place.
Rising sea levels? Don't worry - Antartica gains ice every winter! Or, wait, does it gain ice in the summer, since the earth tilts away from the sun during summer? Or it is during winter, I can't seem to remember. Anyways, they built in the lowlands, it's their fault for getting flooded routinely! If Florida disappears, we'll just send the snowbirds to Canada for their summer bake.
Tip #3: The economy needs to keep expanding. Climate change would get in the way!
You're absolutely right, you know. If climate change continues on it's current course, there could be a massive amount of legislature in place preventing businesses from working the way they want to. There may not be an natural resources left after baking, but that was probably from all those chemtrails.
Tip #4: This would be incredibly inconvenient! You might have to change, even radically.
So don't! Realize that your opinions and views trump science from around the globe. Respected scientists from many fields are unworthy of your attention - you have responsibilities to the status quo. Eventually you'll make enough money to buy that gas guzzling V12 Jaguar, and then people will respect you. No one will respect you if you cut back on consumption. By the way, we happen to have an unlimited amount of resources for infinite expansion. We will never have to fight a war over resources to keep the economy growing. Just look at the stock market for proof. Always going up (and down and up and down again, but that's beside the point).
Tip #5: Realize there are some highly vocal people who agree with you!
Some of them even wear lab coats. I doubt the label inside has a Big Oil sponsor printed on it - that's only something Wind and Solar do, because they have all the money. Just look at the Upside Down Fortune 500 list for proof.
Tip #6: Realize Al Gore invented the internet.
We don't trust Al Gore! He's just a slimy politician, and we also don't like him, so everything he says must be false. Never mind all the scientists and universities and everything - they just invented reason and logic, which would be disastrous to this argument.
For further reading, check out this Big Think article on how to deny scientific consensus on just about any subject:
5 Easy Tips for Denying Scientific Consensus
Very helpful stuff there! For an in depth explanation of what will almost certainly NOT happen if we keep up with Business As usual, read:
The Next Genocide
That's all for now! I'll be selling Portable Buckets of Sand very soon, which are quite useful in the event you don't live next to a handy desert. Yet.
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